Death

When death happens so many people react in different ways

• Some bury their heads, pretend that person never left they will still be there when you look for them like they always are.
• Other can never get that person out of their mind, feel lost and unable to get through a normal day to day life.

I lost my dog back in January who I had had for almost 13 years, I have never felt sadness like that in my life. He was the closest thing to me and when he died I lost parts of me, I lost my love for music, my want of singing, everything important to me I lost all because he left.

People say think of the happy times you had but that makes it so much harder because you know you will never have anymore of those times together.

It's strange what death can do.

To make you feel my love

I hope you like this music video :)
please let me know and if you do like it pass it on so others can see

Lauren - Director
Betty - Musician
Sian - Singer and put the video together

Realism

People like to put themselves in a place where things can be great, they think everything is person, the suns shining, the guy you like likes you back but that isn't always the case.

In these past 2 weeks I have realised a number of things:
1. Who is going to be there without me always trying. I thought I had a number of people who would do that but I was wrong and as much as it hurts you just got to carry on.
2. why I tried to keep my Godmother on the good path and not the alcohol...path :s she was always there for me, when nobody wanted to know me not even family she would spend the time with me so I didn't feel so alone and now that she drinks I feel alone because it's like how it was.
3. I need my dad in my life because without him emotionally I wouldn't be able to be the way I usually am I really miss him even though he is on holiday but with him gone I haven't got him to speak to when I break down into tears.

Most of all I have realised who and what matters I haven't got that fog infront of my eyes anymore and I'm not going to let people use me when they only want me for certain things.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent

about things that matter.

 

Feelings

My feelings are kind of all over the place, mainly concerning just one person.

I'm not a picky person but I don't try to get with every guy I see, so there is this guy I like and to be honest I thought he liked me too, finally a guy who was so funny, smart and very handsome, he never made me feel bad about myself, not the once!
Then next minute everything just goes and now we don't even speak, I fell for this guy so bad I just wanted to keep speaking to him because he made my day, he knew how to make me feel better, how to lift my self-esteem and now that is all gone and I don't know what to do.

Don't make somebody your everything.

Dreams

As I have already said I love music, I also love making music videos.
All today me and Lauren have been working on a music video and I will actually be singing for it, will put it up here ASAP.
This isn't the first music video I have ever made but it is the first one which I made with others and actually used moving images :) tell me what you think

Never give up on a dream because anything is possible

Why

People always ask why a certain thing happens, it's human nature and the most frustrating thing ever, not knowing why!

I am asking why a lot, things always when you don't want it to, but when you want it to, then it won't happen and that is life and you just have to put up with it no matter how much it kind of destroys you.

(Sorry this blog is more of a rant than anything)

Everything happens for a reason,

if it's meant to be then it will happen.

Feelings

I haven't blogged for a while but now I think it the right time too.

People go through so many traumas in life, nobodys life is a breeze but people get through the trouble, the emotional part in a number of different ways.
Recently I went through a rough patch and my way of dealing was not healthy but then I found a way to get myself through everything which is to keep busy so currently I am working on a music video with Lauren and recording a song with Betty although it doesn't fix the problem it helps for now until I got to face it head on.

Music also helps a lot, I could be at my weakest in life and feel like I have nothing left, but with certain songs they can pick your spirits up or even help you let the emotions out until it's gone and you can smile again.

Nothing can beat you unless you let it!

Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour standing on my own two feet - Adele